Phone Story
Based on the message on how to deal with stockbrokers who try to sell you
their garbage by calling you right before lunch break, here is a similar
story based on one very boring afternoon at home with a Long-Distance
Company <this was done just after AT&T Broke up, some names have been altered
due to poor memory>.
RING RING RING
Me: Hello?
SM: Hello, I am Gern Blanston representing the Flint Long Distance company. How are you today, sir?
Me: <bemused> Fine.
SM: May I ask you what type of long distance company you are using?
Me: <now witha devilish grin> Duuuh... I duuno....
SM: You don't know? Well how would you like to be hooked up with the best
sattelite phone network of the 80's? We use-
Me: Duh, sure. Can I call my friend from, uh, far away?
SM: Er, yes. Our long distance service uses the best-
Me: <trying to keep from giggling> He lives in Pango Pango...
SM: Yes, I see. Well you can call your fried overseas at a rate you'll-
Me: He has a lizard you know... his name is Ralph.
SM: I see, well you can-
Me: Ralph the lizard. He is green and sits in a tree.
SM: Well-
Me: A palm tree... with lots of, uh... leaves.
SM: <haggardly> Well, you will save money by using our new optical-
Me: Save money? Really?
SM: Of course! And if you-
Me: Well, how much is it per yard?
SM: Pardon me? <really threw him there>
Me: How much is it per yard. Pango Pango is pretty far away from here...
SM: Well, I never really thought about it that way, but I can assure you-
Me: Will you have to drill a hole in my roof?
SM: Ah, no. You see, it works like this-
Me: 'Cause my friend Tom got one of them black dishes that you put on your
roof... and then he fell off and hurt himself real bad...
SM: Well, we don't actually come to your house-
Me: Crushed his wife's poodle. Flattened him right out, he did...
SM: If you could give me a minute to explain the proceess-
Me: Did I tell you I had a friend in Pango Pango?
True Story #1
happened is usa a month ago;
it said dat a young guy suicided. he dropped from 20th floor.
but afta investigations done buy d us police, dey found out dat he got shot befo dah, i mean he's dead befo hittin de floor.
when they checked dat out... d shot came out from d 9th floor, its where his parents live !
how could it b possible, did they kill their son?
d shot is cuzed by a shotgun, d old man who livz dere said; that he didnt wanna kill nobody, he didnt even kno dat d gun was loaded cuz he always uses it juss to scare his wife,,,
sum witness waz there befo d accident happen, it was their son, he said dat his bro had sum trouble wit his mom about money i guess so he wanted to pop her das y he loaded d gun for his fatha (who has no idea bout dat)...
so he wanted to suicide mayb cuz he regrets dah, but ...he got killed by d same gun !
investigation is still goin...
[mar.juin 24 2008 12:42:09] 大龍~~AteF: hello
[mar. juin 24 200818:35:15] Doson: what do uwant'
[21:33:08] 大龍~~AteF: take it easy
[21:33:15]… people start by saying "hello"
[21:33:16]… !!!
[21:33:34]Doson: yes but i dont know you and inever meet
[21:33:42]… so what do u want to me?
[21:34:17]大龍~~AteF: in our country it's a culture to say "hello"even to people we dont know,,, it's the minimum respect~
[21:36:20]… it seems to me that your country's people are impolite~ anddont have respect aspect in their culture,,,
[21:34:31]Doson: hello
[21:34:55]… hello
[21:36:27]大龍~~AteF: that if they have culture
[21:36:30]… ...
[21:36:48] Doson:listen to me
[21:36:56]… you aren't my friend
[21:37:15]… i never see u and in my life i won't see you
[21:37:18]… so
[21:37:21] 大龍~~AteF: and then? what will u loose if you say "hello"to a stranger~
[21:38:05]Doson: if you must say to me somethingok
[21:38:24]大龍~~AteF: there is not "hello" in italy i see~ Rudepeople
[21:38:29] Doson:but if you are here to brake my balls with hello go to shit abrik
[21:38:39] … yes i'm rudeperson
[21:38:44] 大龍~~AteF: i dont need anything,,
[21:38:54]Doson: you are shoes seller??
[21:38:56]大龍~~AteF: in our culture we dont have rudeness
[21:39:02]… we are kind people
[21:39:04]… not like you
[21:39:09]Doson: ok so why you addedme??
[21:39:16] … what do youwant by rude person?
[21:39:30] 大龍~~AteF: i didnt add you
[21:39:44]Doson: you contacted me
[21:39:44]大龍~~AteF: i passed by here to ask you about something,,, humanitything
[21:39:52] … but yourefused to help me
[21:39:56] …so im going now
[21:40:46]… in our culture, we usually say "good bye, and takecare" even to people we dont know
[21:40:55]… so i tell you that too
[21:41:00]… good bye
[21:41:18]Doson: f**k u bastard chinese
[21:41:36]大龍~~AteF: excuse me, that's impolite,
[21:41:42]… im not chinese
[21:41:45] …but thank u
[21:41:51] Doson:you are a bastard
[21:41:55] 大龍~~AteF: our culture is so hight than saying that
[21:42:00]… good bye
[21:42:29] Doson:f**k you
[21:42:37] … you andyour culture